Miss Manners

After a morning filled with strange back-to-school meetings (only in the New York City Public Schools does one have a visit from the superintendent in which he whips out his guitar and sings a song to the staff), I was ready for a break from the building by the time lunch rolled around.  I wandered over to Whole Foods as it is probably the least expensive place to grab lunch in the neighborhood where I work. After purchasing my lunch, I sat down at the communal table to enjoy a few precious moments of alone time before returning to work.  Now, when I say "alone," I am completely aware of the absurdity of a wish like this at lunch hour in Midtown Manhattan; however, I would have been perfectly happy with a relative version of the word consisting simply of nobody talking my ear off.

Image from Pretty Woman 

Well, apparently that was too much to ask because hardly had I taken a bite of my tuna sandwich when I felt the large, bolted-down table shake.  Next to me plopped down a man who proceeded to put his elbows on the table (thereby spilling my lemonade-ice tea) all while chewing loudly and talking on his cellphone; food churning and spraying out of his open mouth. Disgusting. Now, while I am not the kind of girl who can necessarily identify all of the correct dining utensils properly, I nevertheless, feel that I understand the rudimentary concept of good manners.  

It is on days like this that I wish I could hand out copies of Manners by Kate Spade.  While I am in love with this merely as a coffee table book and not really as a guidebook, there are clearly some people who might serve to benefit from her advice... Snobby and elitist? Perhaps. But, faced with the alternative of someone else's regurgitated food in my tuna salad, I'll deal with the negative label.